The Daily Novel

My own problems filing online was very similar to those of William Hartston of the Daily Express. Neither of us is stupid. Both of us are used to handling computers. So despite what the Inland Revenue says, there must be many other users who had similar problems.

The amount of time wasted by many people over the few days must have been large enough to make a dent in the national productivity figures.

Let me tell you the practical effects.

This year, because I did not earn much in the tax period, my tax affairs were very simple. It took me about an hour to fill in the form offline. Had I followed my practice in previous years, I would have hopped on my scooter and delivered it by hand to the Euston Road, 15 minutes each way. Total time used one and a half hours. Compared with about two and half days getting to grips with the Inland Revenue site.

The experience has nearly driven me mad. Because the Inland Revenue people I spoke with over the last few days were so certain that it was me that was doing things wrong. They gave me instructions to correct ‘my mistakes’, which I followed. But they did not have any effect.

How do I know now, it was them, not me?

By that tried and trusted method, trial and error.
It took me about a day and half to master all the complicated instructions that William describes so eloquently in his column. It would take far too many words to describe this in detail. The instructions are clear and full. But at several critical points the ting does not work if you follow them. I do not remember how many times I repeated operations just in case I made a mistake. I do not remember how many times I rang the Inland Revenue help lines. I do not remember how many times I turned cleared things off my computer and turned it off and on. But it was not a few times.
By lunchtime, the site told me the job was 95% done, and that I had completed everything without error. All I had to do now was press the Submit button.

Yesterday I submitted more times than in the whole of the rest of my life. The last time just before midnight. And all I got was that hour glass symbol, which I never want to see ever again.

This morning I tried again, after ringing my own tax office to confirm that they would not charge my £100 for being late. This time the hour glass disappeared instantly and I received an error message telling me that I had got my user ID or the password wrong. So I had several attempts to rectify this. Turning off my computer, in between. Just in case I was making a mistake.

No joy. Back on the telephone. This time I was told I must turn off my computer for at least half an hour. Which I did as the cowed submissive person I had become.

But not too cowed to ring the Inland Revenue Press Office and the Daily Express.

After speaking to them I thought I might as well have one more try. So I did the same things once again. And it worked. And I have the online receipt to prove it.

William had the same experience. He said it seemed like ‘a miracle of miracles’.

But since I don’t currently believe in God I think it’s the unseen hands of the human beings who desigin and maintain the Inland Revenue web site.

Incidently first thing this morning I did first time and totally successfully’ pay my £792.24 online tax through my Smile account.

So at least there is nothing wrong with the Inland Revenue method of collecting our money online.