The Daily Novel

………….does it take to change a light bulb?The answer is two if my experience yesterday afternoon is anything to go buy. And maybe it would have taken three journalists or four university teachers, because I had failed to do the job myself. Because changing light bulbs is no longer a simple matter of pushing and twisting. I had not even got to first base.

This particular light bulb is covered by a shallow bowl affixed to the ceiling, which I had been unable to get off. When architect number one came downstairs and found me struggling at the top of the ladder on the first floor landing he mastered stage one in an instant. He took out a coin and eased the globe off. Then he went off to see the Tour de France, which for some reason has decided to cross the channel this year and show us Brits how serious cycling is done.

I went down to the electrician in Camden High Street to get a replacement . This particular light bulb is actually a fluorescent tube wound round to make a continuous loop. I immediately spotted something similar on the shelf, but when I came to pay I was asked whether I wanted the two pin or the four pin version. I had no idea, but bought the two pin version when the shop assistant told me that it was the most common.

There were no instructions. But now we could see how the thing was made it was clear that to get it out you had to pull down vertically, which number one architect did, trying at the same time squeeze a little plastic tag, which looked as if it might be a release mechanism. Failure. So architect number two went up the ladder and had a go, testing whether the secret was to pull out the plastic tag. Failure. Meanwhile architect number one had been experimenting with the new product and had decided that the plastic tag did not do anything at all. What was needed, we thought, was brute force, but not so much brute force that would have pulled the light fitting out of the ceiling. So back up the ladder he went and gave a short sharp heave. Success at last. Pushing the new one in was a doddle, and the landing light went on again, and I began to think about whether this everyday incident was not a suitable matter for blogging.

How come we have created a society in which, if you want to change a light bulb quickly, you need to call in an electrician. In our kitchen, which we remodeled seven years ago, following the new fashion for ceiling lighting, where once there were two light bulbs with decorative lamp shades, we now have twelve halogen lamps. One of them failed three or four months ago. Despite my dislike of climbing ladders and fiddling around above my head, I managed to get out the supposedly dud one, and insert a new one. But it still did not light up. I decided we had enough light from the remaining eleven so we have lived with that. But in the last two or three weeks two more lamps have failed, so clearly some action is required soon, otherwise we shall have to bring out the candles.

At the electrical shop today the assistant told me that these halogen lamps often have individual transformers. The transformers should last longer than the lamps (they come with a two-year guarantee) but they don’t last forever. And when the light fails the only way of discovering whether it is the lamp, or the transformer, which needs changing, is trial and error. Changing the transformer necessitates turning off the electricity at the fuse box. Pulling on the cable until the transformer comes through the hole, then unscrewing the wires from the tiny plastic junction boxes at both ends. All of this has to be done standing on the top of a ladder.

This is clearly very good news for the electricians’ union, but I cannot see a clear political message. I don’t think Gordon Brown will do any better than David Cameron in making life better for the elderly, and anyone else, who finds climbing ladders a pain. But in writing this blog I have discovered something else which raises ethical and legal issues.

Since our house is full of relatives and friends this weekend I am writing this blog on my laptop in the new flat around the corner, where we have been spending the night. I am not paying for an internet connection in the new flat but I find that I can connect to an unsecured wireless network called linksys with moderate reception. That means I am freeloading on the back of one of my new neighbours. This probably is not against the law, although I have not checked. But is it unethical?

I don’t think my neighbour would mind, because my use of his service does not affect him in any way. But I am depriving Virgin Media of another customer. To decide whether or not that is ethical is more complicated than it seems at first thought.I pay Virgin Media for two distinct services which are part of a total package. I pay them for the use of their cable and the set box which physically connects me the internet. This also entitles me to use their domain name and their space to store my writing and photos on the internet. The latter service I don’t need because I pay another company for thedailynovel domain and also have space in the City University domain. So I don’t need the physical connection. Me, as well as thousands of university teachers and students and millions of people who have a work connection through their job.

So when we move out of our house and I cancel my Virgin contract I could probably get along without paying any company for broadband, either in Charmouth or in Gospel Oak. And I have managed to convince myself that it is ethically OK for me so to do. But there are practical and political aspects of this issue. My computer here shows that as well as linksys there is another wireless network where reception is excellent called birdcage. His network is secured but I think he might well be entirely happy to rent me his password for a very modest monthly sum. Most pubs make their wireless networks available for free. Some hotels charge ten pounds an hour.

But there is no easy way for me to discover where birdcage is. He might live in this house. But he could live in another second floor flat on the other side of the road or in one of several houses on this side.

So the most practical way of saving myself and others some money is via getting to know the neighbours. This applies to all sorts of issues as well as wireless networking. Gordon Brown has said he wants to hand power back to communities but this is easier said then done. Grass roots democracy has to be established bottom up not top down. The same applies to establishing the citizen’s journalism on web. Somehow or other bloggers have to get in touch with other bloggers who are interested in what they are doing.

But it is worth spending some time on. Once I have fixed those three dud lamps or transformers in the kitchen.